So I took a break for awhile and am getting caught up.
Here’s my life- I am still dating, and haven’t found true love (yet) but that mostly has to do with the fact that I refuse to settle for a guy is not right for me because he a) has it or b) is okay with it. If we don’t click, we don’t click.
I was dating a guy who I thought was great, and while he “needed time to think about it,” he still said he really, really liked me and wanted to continue dating me. Then his bipolar ex came back in his life and drove a wedge between us because he “was still in love with her.” I was DEVASTATED- cried for days, and thought I wasn’t going to be able to get over it. While it still hurts a little, I’ve moved on.
I’ve started talking to someone new and I’m going to have to tell him as well. I really like him. He may not like the herp. You know what, it’s not the end of the world if he can’t accept it- I don’t want him anyway. If he wants to get to know me well enough to continue regardless, that’s fine.
Everyone has their demons. Everyone. Ours is just a little more tangible.
I’m back to posting…I took a break.
You don’t want to associate with people who think you are dirty and nasty, regardless. Out of all the potential partners I’ve told, only one had a negative reaction and it was REALLY the wrong time to tell him.
Physically, it’s not a big deal. The worst part is telling people, but you should. Most won’t care.
You can still have sex! It’s okay. And I cried a LOT when I got it. I felt ugly. Now, it’s easier. It’s not perfect, but it’s easier.
Well, it’s okay to be worried about your future…but at least he told you. That took courage. If he takes meds and uses protection, the risk is very low. He needs to listen to his body, and you need to support him. That was a very brave thing he did and clearly he cares about you.
Oh sweetheart. Don’t hate your life. It does get easier…I promise.
Yesterday a friend posted on her Facebook timeline that she was diagnosed with cancer for the 3rd time. She’s already beat it twice- once vulvar cancer and once skin cancer. This time is skin cancer. 199 people commented on that status telling her that she would beat it, and countless more posted independent things on her timeline, others texted her, and she was taken out last night to celebrate life.
Admittedly, herpes isn’t immediately life threatening, although I have struggled with thoughts of suicide off and on since my diagnosis.
What challenges me is if I posted that I received the devastating diagnosis of herpes, I would be ridiculed, shamed, and undoubtedly blamed- surely I brought this on myself. There’s no way that my worst offense was trusting the wrong person. I would be seen as a bad person.
Sadly, until everyone on earth gets it, this perception isn’t going to stop. I will still be on the merry-go-round of dating, either dating people with it or having to tell people without it and risk rejection.
So all we can do is move on, find our support systems, and don’t be afraid to use them.
By the way, I’m really crap about answering questions. It’s not because I don’t love everyone who asks (because I do), it’s just because I get distracted by shiny things. Or corgi videos.
I think you heart my blog to subscribe? I’m glad you found it- we ALL go through those damn mood swings.
Ugh. Boys are crap.
Expect a crappy first year and then it gets better. You’ll meet idiots with and without it, but you’ll realize that you’re much better than it. I’m having an OB right now and it was painful the first day, but now it’s gone.
Keep your chin up!